That was then - this is now.

It’s 8:45 on a Thursday evening late January and I'm at my 10 year olds’ basketball practice scheduled to end at 9:30. At this same time, on any given evening, 37 years ago, my father would be relaxing on his Lazyboy recliner watching Peter Faulk as Columbo.


That was then - this is now.

Times have changed more than I would have ever imagined. Our kids are busier than I ever was. I got into sports when I was able to get myself to a sporting practice and home again. Back then, I’d grab my baseball mitt and thread the back strap through the handle bar of my bright green Schwinn String Ray (one gear, back pedal to brake and NO HELMET!!) and meet ‘the guys’ at ‘the field’ – the same place we’d meet every Saturday morning. No need for phone calls, text messages, IM’s or emails - there were no drop-offs or pick-ups – everyone just showed up.

Today, our kids start dance and sports at 3 years old. If they didn't, they’ll be at a disadvantage. Our 10 year olds’ soccer team has a coach, a couple of assistant coaches and – are you ready for this? – a TRAINER!! (You say: “Are you kidding me? They’re 10 years old!!”) Yep, I had the same reaction.

Years ago, if a pee-wee league existed, my parents didn't have the time, money or interest to register any of us. Today, our schedule of the kid’s activities after school and all weekend is very similar to most families with children - crazy.

When I was young, my father would walk through the door just about the same time every night - 5:30. Mom would have dinner ready so all he'd have to do is sit down at the table. We'd all eat and Dad would settle into his chair for the night while Mom cleaned up from dinner, gave baths and checked homework. Those were the night time activities - except, if Dad needed milk for his coffee in the morning, then my mother would pile all five of us into the station wagon and drive through Dairy Barn – Dad didn’t run errands or babysit, his day ended at 5pm. (Can you say Archie and Edith?)

As my son and I head home after his practice, it’s about 9:45pm and all I can think is - that was then, it certainly isn’t now.

A woman's work...

In true Paul Harvey fashion (www.paulharvey.com), I thought I’d share “the other side of the story” regarding Dawn’s first business trip – alone. Last November, Dawn had a business trip to Williamsburg, Virginia while I stayed at home with the kids – four days and three nights. Needless to say, no house projects will be getting done this weekend! Before she left, Dawn had my itinerary all mapped out - where - when - why and how. All I needed to do is enter everything into my PDA which gives me an alarm 15 minues before I need to leave. I'm all set - this is going to be a piece of cake – hahaha!, yeh, right!

Thursday morning, we brought Dawn to the train - here we go!
Luckily, I can work remotely from home and didn't need to take any time off. Dawn made it even easier for me by doing food shopping - all I needed to do was make marinara sauce that would give me a couple of nights of pasta dinners.
Thursday night’s schedule was pretty tight - my son(chickie2) had soccer practice from 4:30 to 6pm and our oldest(chickie 1) would need to be at religion class from 7 to 8:30pm. This meant I would need to drop off chickie2 at soccer, go home, feed everybody else, go pick up chickie2, bring him home to eat quickly, get everyone back in the car, drop the chickie1 at church, go back home to give the chickie4 a bath, get back in the car and pickup at the church – now I see why her car is over the leased mileage limit. As we were leaving to pickup chickie1, I accidentally locked the house keys in the house. Dawn hasn't been gone for 12 hours and I've already locked us out! Luckily, chickie1 had her house key.

The next morning at breakfast, chickie3 said, "Day Two - Mommy's gone." Even though Dawn is hundreds of miles away, does not mean we can't still torment each other. I emailed Dawn a picture of chickie1 standing under the clock ready for school 5 minutes early - with a caption "How does he do it!?" Her response back was a picture of her room service breakfast, "Today, I am served!" Touché!

After dropping chickie4 and the boys at school, I had about 2 hours to get done as much work as possible before picking up chickie4. As fate would have it, I had a major proposal for my office due on Monday - I knew I had to squeeze it in between everything going on at home - great timing. I thought Friday would be an easy afternoon because of no athletic activities. Instead, I get a call from chickie1 right about the time she's to get on the bus at school to bring her home - she want's to go home with a girlfriend. No big deal, right? Wrong! This is a big deal, I don't normally make these decisions, I'm not prepared for this, I don't know this girl, I don't know if Dawn knows her mom - THIS IS NOT ON MY AGENDA! Ok, so I stuck my neck out and let her go - after speaking to the dad. This just added one more trip out with the gang to get chickie1 back home so she could get ready and we all get back in the car to bring her to the dance studio. She’s in there for an hour, so we stayed in the car and the kids all fell asleep while they were watching a movie.

Saturday morning - the grand finale! Before Dawn left, she told me to make sure the boys have their soccer uniforms - and I did. What she didn't say was anything about the other equipment they need - like shin guards. As we're about to leave, there's a mad search for chickie3's shin guards. So I ask " where are your shin guards?" "I don't know." "When did you use them last?" "I don't know." "When did you see them last?" "I don't know." At this point I made the irrational decision to call my wife - she'll know where they are - she knows everything! Big mistake. She saved my frantic voicemail message so I - and everyone else she played it for - can hear what a lunatic I am.

So, here's the schedule - I wanted to get out of the house by 8 am and stop for bagels, instead we were searching for equipment that was not put back where it should be. Chickie2 needs to be at the soccer field at 9:15 for a game that will start at 10 ending at 11am. Chickie3 needs to be at a different soccer field at 11:30 for an 11:45 game ending at 12:45. Chickie4 has to be at yet another field at 1:45 for her "game" (4 year old girls) that will end at 3pm. Taylor has dance from 3 to 5, so she will have to be left at the studio during chickie4's game. I feed everyone pizza between 1:00 - 1:15 and we were off again. WOW! I need to point out here that Dawn does this - EVERYDAY!
We all celebrated making it to Saturday night without a single trip to the hospital or any calls to missing persons, by having popcorn and watching a movie - AT HOME!

Sunday morning I woke to a mountain of laundry - oh no, better do something about that. Three loads of sheets and towels later, the mountain was a mere hill.
I had planned to get the house in some order this morning - it wasn't that bad, we were hardly home. But, the floors needed to be mopped and the boys room condemned. After the house was presentable we would pick up Dawn in Huntington where we would have dinner.
Dawn calls about 8:30am and is dreading the 7 hour train ride home, so she asks me to pick her up at Penn Station (that’s in the middle of Manhattan). I would have rather cleaned up and scrubbed toilets all day than drive into the city and back, which would have been at least 4 hours in the car. So, when I told chickie4 we had to get mommy in the city, she said "On the train?" - "No, by car." Then I thought for a minute and said "Yes, by the train - great idea!" The kids love the train - it would be fun. I checked the schedule and we could get into Penn Station 15 minutes before Dawn's train arrives and get on the LIRR to be back in Huntington by 6:15 for dinner as originally planned.
What a weekend! And that, my friends, is “the other side of the story”.
(Note to self – increase Dawn’s life insurance.)

Time for a new van

After 10 years and 95000 miles, it was time to replace our van - a white Ford Windstar I had purchased new in 1998. Actually, the decision to buy this minivan was left to our then 2 year old, - I simply had to sign the paperwork. As chickie1 climbed into what would be our first family van, I told the salesman - "If she likes it, we'll take it." With that, she turned to me and said "Good!".
Why do I bring this up? Simple, that van has been as useful as any tool I've ever owned or used. Over the years, it has hauled more building material that can be listed here. If you are planning to remodel, renovate or even just repair, how do you plan to bring stuff home? If folding down the two rear bench seats didn't give me the height inside the vehicle, I could just remove the seats completely - which explains my many trips to the chiropractor. There's nothing like lifting an 80 pound seat while bent over inside a minivan.
Yep, 4' x 8' panels of sheetrock slid flat, right into the back of the van - can't do that in anything else but a pickup truck, but you can't fit four kids in the back of a pickup truck - legally. I was almost sorry to see it go - it's been a part of the family for as long as my oldest son. But, I knew its days were numbered and we were living on borrowed time.
The day before I was to trade in the old Windstar, I began cleaning it out. In the back, behind the rear seat, was one of chickie2's baseballs- it's been two years since he's played. Under the first bench was chickie3's new soccer ball from last spring, don't want to leave that. In the compartment between the front seats were a stack of old cassette tapes Dawn and I used to listen to prechildren. When I found the roll of paper towels and the disinfectant wipes in a rear hidden compartment, I recalled the one item no family with small children ever left home without - the porta-potty. It fit perfectly under the bench seats, never in the way and always ready for an emergency. I won't go into why the wipes were necessary but let me just say that on one occasion, I found out that I have a very strong stomach.
Yes, I came across so many items that brought back just as many memories that I started to get choked up – then, I realized it was just caused by 10 years of dirt and dust – I never cleaned that vehicle.

"I can't find anything!"

I started our basement renovation last year and had every intention of finishing by last Christmas – does this sound like a recurring theme? I even had a construction schedule printed from my computer (that slipped every week – but at least I knew how far behind I was falling.). Half the basement is for the kids and their games. The other (less than) half would be for crafting and Dawn’s projects and work area.
During construction, I needed somewhere to keep the basement clutter – much of which is possessions not yet unpacked from our move into the house 5 years ago. All of this stuff needed to be relocated so I could work – the result, a mountain of plastic bins and boxes. Storing things you don’t need is one thing – for Dawn not to be able to work because much of her supplies are packed, who knows where, is an entirely different matter.
Dawn, giving up any hope phase 2 (her work area) will be started any time soon exclaims, “I can’t find anything!” and decides we are going to unpack everything – this weekend. Dawn has always been spontaneous. Me, I like to plan - she has a thought and needs to act, immediately. No problem, but I needed to make a point to tell her the bathroom window molding will not be finished this weekend - once again, starting another project before finishing the last. She agreed, taking full responsibility – this time. (I’ll consider this documented proof.)
Naturally, I need to do the heavy lifting and moving. She said she’ll unpack everything – which doesn’t really put me at ease – actually, I would have preferred to unpack. Why? Well, when we moved out of our first home, Dawn was 6 months pregnant with Sophia. In order to help out, I did a lot of the packing – see where I’m going with this? My method of packing differs from Dawn’s – although mine makes sense to me while I’m packing. I’ll try to optimize space in a box – Dawn will keep categories separate. Yesterday, one of my calculators that I have not seen in……5 years - was on the kitchen counter. Dawn said she found it in a box marked “Kitchen” that was full of Tupperware! OK, so the calculator was probably in the kitchen when I was packing and there was probably room in the box. I guess I figured everything would be unpacked after we moved into the new house – not still in boxes after 5 years! I wonder what else she’ll find that I haven’t seen in 5 years that I’ve needed so badly.

Where's the molding?

I had every intention of finishing the molding around the new bathroom window before starting the next project – really. It’s been 3 weeks and I still only have masking tape around the perimeter of the window where the molding SHOULD be by now! The masking tape will keep the insulation fibers from settling on every horizontal surface in our bathroom – smart, right? Something must have told me that the molding installation would be delayed – probably my track record. I have more unfinished projects than I care to admit. But, I cannot take all the blame- I’ve got plenty of help. I hate to keep bringing her up, but let’s face it – my wife keeps my schedule. When I announce which project I will try to tackle on the upcoming weekend – Dawn will clue me into the itinerary of our busy little offspring.

Three of them play soccer – chickie4 just started at 4 years old. chickie2 plays lacrosse and basketball during the off season and chickie3 is a soccer purist. Chickie1 should be lead in a NY City Ballet performance at Lincoln Center with all the money we’ve spent between classes, outfits, costumes, (I can’t believe how much stockings cost!) makeup and let’s not forget how much fuel and time is spent running her back and forth from the dance studio.

Most Saturdays we need to split up. I’ll take one or two and Dawn will take the others. That leaves me only Sunday – unless of course there’s a family function or other distraction requiring our attendance or Dawn may have something else in mind – such as….
“I can’t find anything!”

Molding

When I first started my home improvement life as a homeowner, I had very few tools. My first purchase was a $30 circular saw and you can do just about anything with a circular saw - except finish work. This was not a problem because I have not yet gotten into any type of finish carpentry. I had built a playground swing set attached to an elevated covered "fort" and a picnic table with benches with that saw. When it came time to start tackling some finish carpentry around the house I had to make a decision - pay someone else or learn. Considering how cheap I am, this was a no-brainer. Actually, I really wanted to learn and it was a great way to substantiate buying new tools. As I would explain to Dawn -"Listen, I could spend thousands to pay someone else or spend hundreds on the tools that could be used over and over." She never argued that logic. Before actually making a purchase, I would borrow a tool for a small project just to see if I could get the hang of it. Also, being cheap, I would take into consideration if I would be using the tool again and again - making it worth the investment.

I was able to borrow a power miter saw to do some molding work - simple 45 degree cuts for base molding and casement around doors. When it came time to intall the cove molding around the new kitchen cabinets - I had to decline. The molding was maple wood pre-finished from the manufacturer and very expensive to replace- I needed a real carpenter. I hired someone that came highly recommended. I should have bought the saw and practiced with some scrap cove molding - he did a horrible job - the corners didn't match up, the wood was too hard for his nail gun - I was convinced I could have done a better job on my first attempt. That was it - I haven't hired anyone since then. Yeh, it may take more time, but it usually comes out better and I'm the one that has to look at it.

A decent power miter saw will cost about $250. You can find cheaper and more expensive but I always find the middle of the road to be the best value. I now use this saw probably more than all my other saws combined and I've got a lot of saws. When Dawn was looking to dress up some entrance ways into our Dining room and Living Room, I purchased these French Doors.

What really makes the project is the finish. In this case it would be the moldings. After a few trial angles I had that cove molding going together like it was made that way.

I particularly like the meshing of the coat closet with the French Door - probably because it was my idea. Dawn wasn't home when I made that executive decision - very gutsey, I know! She usually has final say on anything that is visible. Anything hidden behing walls, floors and ceilings is my territory - things that need to work. Her area is the asthetic value. That's why we're such a good team - she couldn't care less how it works and I couldn't care less how it looks!

Window Replacement

No matter how clean your house may be, with the proper conditions, mold will grow. It's unsightly; it smells and will adversely affect your health. No matter how much you clean and kill those spores, they will return until you eliminate the environment in which they thrive - moisture.
The bathroom in our master bedroom had a double hung wood window that was part of the original construction - making it over 40 years old. I knew its days were numbered, but we have many others in more dire need of replacement. I'm also in the middle of a basement renovation, so I'm not thinking about starting another new project - that is, until Dawn said I am. I guess it got to be too much for her, after thoroughly cleaning the bathroom only to still smell a musty mold aroma.
Now, I don't want to come across as a sexist here, but my experience has proven (at least to me) that women seem to have a sharper sense of smell than men. Yes, I do have other evidence to support this claim. Many years ago, I was involved with a project to replace a roof on a school in NY City. The principal - a man - was receiving complaints from many of the teachers - women- of a bad odor, roof tar. The principal and I walked the halls and stuck our noses into classrooms - we smelled nothing. Seeing the obvious, he suggested having the assistant principal - a woman - join us. As the three of us investigated the illusive odor the assistant principal suddenly stopped in her tracks and proclaimed "Here! I smell it here - right behind my eyes." The principal and I just looked at each other - not a word did we speak - we were way out numbered. So, if Dawn says there's an odor in the bathroom - there's an odor in the bathroom! The window goes!
In order to replace an existing window, you need to measure the rough opening - not the window or the outside of the molding. This will require you to remove the molding around the perimeter of the window. Take care in doing this. If caulking was placed around the molding where it meets the wall or if paint has built up, it will need to be cut with a utility knife. If you don't score this properly, the paint on the molding will pull the paint and possibly the paper backing right off the sheetrock wall. Next, protect the wall from your tool. Removing the molding will require a prying tool. You will punch a hole right through the wall if you pry against it. A scrap piece of wood works well here.
After removing all the moldings, you should see insulation surrounding the window - I saw daylight and an abandoned bee's nest! The small amount of insulation I did find was doing nothing. Now I see why we had an odor in this bathroom, no caulking outside the window to prevent moisture from entering and insulation missing. The result was a wood window that was constantly wet - a virtual breeding ground for mold.
The first thing I did in this room, after we moved in 4 years ago, was install a bath exhaust fan. After a shower, the condensation would cover every surface. The fan worked well but not for the window for reasons that are now apparent. With the moldings off and insulation discarded, measure the distance between the 2x4 wall studs on either side of the window - inside to inside. Do the same top to bottom - this is the rough opening. You'll need these measurements to buy the replacement window. For example; the rough opening of my window was 26.5" x 41". The window I bought required a rough opening of 25" x 38". I had to add some lumber to one side and both the top and bottom to reduce the opening size. Try not to buy a window that is bigger than your rough opening - that will require a few more steps.
Most windows will come with instructions on the proper install and tools required. Removing the old window is pretty easy. Mine was nailed from the outside, so a few taps on each corner with my hammer and out she went. Replacement of a window takes some basic carpentry skills so I wouldn't recommend attempting it as your first home improvement project. This is a project for two, so maybe you can find a friend or neighbor who's done it before. As for cost to have a contractor install, you can simply double the material costs. If one window costs $200, a carpenter will charge between $200 - $250 to install the one window. My house has over 20 windows, so I'll be putting that $4000 - $5000 back in my pocket - or towards Dawn's new kitchen.
At the end of the day, after everything was cleaned up and my tools away Dawn came out of the bathroom with a big smile - "I don't smell anything!"
Mission accomplished!

Coming soon: Finishing the casement molding around the new window or I’ve got a miter saw and I’m not afraid to use it!